Share Your Story and Strategies

This is an opportunity to participate in a research project.  

Your responses will be used, along with others, in a report, a series of articles and possibly a book to help people understand the dynamics, issues, goals, dreams and ways of dealing with working in today's climate of continued downsizing and major change.   

Please write from the heart about working today.  Include your experiences, feelings, fears, dreams, concerns, coping strategies, personal quest.  You may use these questions as an additional focus:

• What is your current work status?
• In what ways has your attitude toward work changed?
• Are you hopeful about the future?  Why?
• How do you cope with stress and despair?
• To what extent have you control of your life, job, decisions?
• How do you find serenity, meaning and purpose each day?

• What can you offer to help others in distress?

The appropriate length: anything from a paragraph to a few pages. Follow the link below to see other's stories.  Your answers will be anonymous.  If you wish to be quoted, please indicate your full name, title and firm (if your are now employed), city/state, country and e-mail address. Please send by regular mail to:

ENDespair, c/o DJ, 784 Columbus Avenue, Suite 1C, New York, NY 10025, or by e-mail to Endespair@aol.com

Your response is appreciated!  Thank you for doing what you can to make a difference!

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Stories from visitors and ENDespair's mailbox

Still in Despair

"I am 54, and up to this time, have always felt successful. Divorced at 27, I `m a single parent, with two children, one with special needs. I never received child support or alimony. I attended a 2-yr. secretarial course through a local community college (finishing in one year), and began my career with Du Pont as a junior secretary/steno.

Over the years, I worked in steadily more responsible administrative support positions with companies in several different fields. Administrative support personnel are often undervalued. In order to support my children, whenever I found myself stalled in one company), I always looked for and found a better job. I also added to my skills and experience, attending night courses at a community college. And I attained a CPS certification, much coveted in the administrative support field. At about age 41, I was working for the CEO of a prestigious company, as an executive assistant with a good salary and benefits.

 I decided to branch out on my own, working part-time doing spiritual counseling and part-time as sole-proprietor of my own secretarial and word-processing business. After about 5 years, I realized I was not prospering well, and decided to devote myself to one field. I chose counseling and began working full time for a non-profit organization, in addition to my own part-time private practice. I also became that organization's web developer. They were unable to pay very much. After a few years, I decided my financial situation was still not acceptable.

At the age of 50, I accepted a position as an administrative assistant. It was a step down from my previous title of executive assistant, but the company and the position looked promising, and my salary was acceptable. I was assured promotions and salary increases, and so signed a 3-year contract. When it expired, I requested a raise. The company president assured me I had "misunderstood the compensation program." My salary increases are to be provided through bonuses, which have steadily decreased. There will be no cost of living increases. There will be no merit increases. No promotion was offered. Other individuals in the company (mostly engineers) have received salary increases.

My share of the last 6-month bonus was 1.3% of the bonus pool. That was 4.12% of the profits shared among 8 administrative people. That would be fine as a bonus, but not as a substitute for a salary increase. More than that, there is an attitude about administrative support here in this company of degreed engineers. We are "overhead." Even though four of us manage the three offices, all of our titles are "administrative assistant." Our job descriptions are written so broadly that no promotion would ever be possible. Indeed the fact that my responsibilities fit within the job description was cited as one of the main reasons to deny me an increase in pay.

In addition, my co-office manager, who used to work part-time, has begun to work full-time since her husband lost his job several months ago. She has been with the company longer, has the title of Principal Administrative Assistant, and is the designated HR person. (Our company president doesn't want her to call herself the HR Manager.) Unfortunately, my primary interest is in human resources, office management and document editing, but there is not enough of this kind of work for two full time employees. Much of the more interesting work I used to do now gets allocated to her. While this is not her fault, the combination of low pay and now doing a job I could have easily done at 12 years of age has not improved my morale. I kick myself for my three major career change decisionsæto start my own business, to work full-time at a non-profit, and to return to administrative support.

The bottom line: I've been conducting a job search for more than a year. At first, I was fairly selective. Since the job market has taken such a dive, I've been almost willing to make a lateral move, with at least the hope that I could have increases in the future and perhaps more interesting work. I don't know if I am still being too discriminating, but I am not finding anything that fits my skills and experience or that pays enough. Is this because of my age? Employers would have to pay a higher rate for my medical insurance, and a higher salary because of what I bring to the job.

I've lost a great deal of confidence from my unsuccessful search, and from working in an environment where my skills, intelligence, and experience are so under-utilized and unappreciated. I pulled myself up by my bootstraps in a very challenging life, only to end up in this tiny whirlpool at the edge of the pond. I am in debt. I can't afford to fund my retirement account beyond the company match. My self-esteem is low. I am in despair, without and hope for my future.

How do I cope?  I tell myself that even in a very tough job market, there is someplace or someone out there for whom I am just the right person.  That's my suggestion for anyone in distress."

An Offer of Help

"In the past 6 months, my husband left me, I was downsized a week ago.  My children are grown and on their own. I am in a new communitiy where the only friends I was making are with the company who just downsized 20% of their workforce.

The ironic things is that I have never been laid off. I have weathered four divorces, a child wih cancer (she is now fine!) bu I always had my work. This has been, indeed, a very humbling experience to say the least. I am 56 and scared.

I know there are others out there like me and I want to help them. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, what can I do to help others in a similar situation?"

In Debt

"I know I am losing it, yet I am damned for two reasons. First, I am out of work and thousands of dollars in debt. Secondly, my background is in mental health, and any local treatment could be 'leaked' and further damage my reputation."

Chronic Underemployment

"I am 53 and unemployed after being downsized 3 times in the last 6 years. I cope with stress through my faith in God! I have total control over my life and its decisions. I have no control over having someone call me for an interview. I would like to know what it takes to get interviews at my age. Thanks for this Web site."

"I am in crisis and under tremendous stress. I have been unemployed for a few months, though I have begun teaching at an after school program, part time. It seems too little, too late. I have been chronically underemployed and underearning for some time, even though I have children. I have almost four years of college, speak 3 languages, besides other skills. I have been unable to promote myself or even to hold onto whatever I am able to fight for.

Presently, I have shutoffs on all my utilities and an eviction notice from my landlord. Sometimes I am unable to cope. Sometimes I feel like I've got to be strong and put on a good face for my family, but I am very frightened by all the issues involved in work and money in general. It seems that I am not alone."

High Performer A Threat?

"If this had not happened to me, I would not believe it. A major airline based in Dallas contracted a reservations call center company for their vacation package reservations so they wouldn't have to give the reservations agents flight benefits. They chose to relocate the call center to my hometown, Tulsa, so the outsourced agents wouldn't be constantly trying to get hired by the actual airline. Ironically, the agents still had to answer the phone "XYZ Airlines Vacations" so the callers wouldn't know they were calling an outsource, and we weren't allowed to tell our friends and families that we did not get flight benefits because the airline was embarrassed by the issue. Regardless, I had just graduated from college, and was happy to be hired with the huge start-up group at the new site. Right away, I really enjoyed the work, and for the entire first year, was #1 in sales each month. I'd travelled a lot as a child and had taken marketing classes in college, and both helped me with my success. A lot of coworkers resented me because I got prizes and bonuses each month, but none of their rumors about me ever stuck because I was very meticulous and honest with my work. I was genuinely surprised by my success each month and never boasted about it; in fact I worked so hard I never really had the chance to be arrogant.

My hourly pay was easily doubled each month with the bonuses, I even thought I'd buy an inexpensive HUD fixer-upper house eventually. I didn't sit around with my phone turned off like the other employees and complain about the airline didn't give us flight benefits; I was too busy taking calls and making bookings. Management could never catch me doing anything dishonest; in fact they recorded most of my calls and used them in training classes as an example.

The day after making Top Performer for the 12th month, I was called in by 4 managers and told I was being terminated because they felt it someone new should get the chance to be #1. They said that having the same top performer each month was bad for my coworkers' morale! From there, I worked a series of temp jobs with no benefits and zero stability, bringing in about 40% each month that I'd brought in before. I couldn't get a permanent job when potential employers learned I'd been fired by my first and only office job. I was listed as having been terminated for "Monthly revenue issues" which made it almost sound like I'd been stealing from the company or something! Because I'd been terminated, I couldn't even get Unemployment checks.

My self-esteem took such a beating-- there I was, fired from my first full-time job, for the crime of working harder and having a good attitude! I finally took them in front of a mediation board with the Oklahoma Employment Service, who ruled that I was 'terminated for reasons other than employee misconduct.'   I got no monetary award since it wasn't a court, but it really helped me realize that I had done nothing wrong. I still try to #2, not #1 at any place I work. I didn't bother taking them to court, and I'm still bitter as I float between jobs. Still, years later, I'd give anything to get a job that would pay me that well in an Oklahoma economy.

I haven't completely found complete closure, 4 years later. If I'd known the road would have been this rough, I would have sued as many, included my State Employment Service, advised me to do. I've yet to find a job that pays me as well or that I like as much, partly because I make an effort to NOT be a top performer anymore. However, I have healed somewhat. The advice I would share with those who face a wrongful termination is to use your state's services to make complaints or clear your name. Even though there is little financial benefit to it, just having something in writing from an official source can do a lot for one's self-esteem and future employment prospects."

Being Different Can Be a Problem

"I have been employed at my present job for 10 years. In the last year or so I seem to have fallen from grace with the CEO of my organization.  My work has always been top notch, but I am being discriminated against because I don't fit the profile they are looking for. I am the only employee who is single and without children. My lifestyle doesn't suit them, and because of that I am being constantly harassed and today was threatened with my job for making a personal phone call. I feel they are making things as hard as possible so that I will quit, or be fired for something that I am not guilty of."

 
Repeated Downsizing Requires Support

"My husband worked for 27 years, then the place was shut down. I was downsized from my Civil Service position. At first I was very angry, the training department that I worked for was staffed by people who did not have the skills I possessed. However, I am very fortunate. I received severance pay.

I'm presently enrolled at a university to obtain my MBA. It is hard to go back to being a one pay check family. My husband can not retire on the money that we would have received as he is under the age of 55. I want to teach. I have done so for the federal government for 12 years and have awards to prove that I was not only good at what I did, I was damn good. This helps the depression. I read my evaluations from my students when I taught classes in communications, customer service, Total Quality Management and computer programs. I know I am good, but that was yesterday. I need to consider tomorrow.

I am preparing for tomorrow, today. I will achieve as I have done in my past. I have had to build a new support group. But with my God, family and friends, I will be OK and achieve my dream."

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